Inspired...
Nate, you have inspired me...maddening punctuation can not be helped...but you're right! I live in the smallest most incestual town in the U.P. which is pretty much saying in the whole world...minus Arkansas and Alabama when it comes to the incest...so I've decided that those stupid little stories that make my life sad and pathetic might actually bring a smile to your face to have you know that "Hey, at least it ain't happening to you!" So here's another little tidbit of my current life: Kristy and I went to Mr. Dutch and Viva la Bam, local bars, on Saturday night...At the Bam they had Christmas Karaoke...we walk in the place and there is a man playing a GEETAR (guitar) and singing pretty poorly....people are staring off and it just wasn't a pretty sight...so we get there and Jackie, the owner's mom, asks us if we plan on singing...well of course we PLAN on singing....So she goes well what do you think you're going to sing...so we pick Jingle Bell Rock....and she's like ok I'll put it in right now....Now hold up a sec Jackson....We haven't even finished a beer yet! So hurriedly we down our drink and take a shot and get another drink and we're up! With absolutely no shame Kristy and I belt out the Jingle Bell Rock only to have the people in the bar start humming a little with it....THEN we are told to do the next song...I figure it must be the Kristy/Carrie Hour....this time however the bar uproars and everyone chimes in....it's a HIT! So from then on until bar close it involves the bar rockin' out dancing and sing to a mixture of Cmas music and country music...In all modesty....we got the fuckin' party started! So then we're sitting there and this guy comes up next to Kristy and is trying to be her "friend"....well his friends think, hey a girl gave him the time of day they must want us all to come talk to them! Newsflash Walter: we were fine alone! haha....but we're nice so we talk to them...by talk I mean let them buy us shots...to have them inform us that they live next door in the trailer...yes my friends....the trailer! Well one of the guys has a black sweatshirt with a double collar...deuce collars....zwei collar....yea...thats right...the color of the inner one being TEAL of course! So then on the front it had pictures of trees and snowmobiles....in blue and white and teal....WITH PUFFY PAINT!!! clearly a shirt from the early 90s where it was puff paint or bust....So I tell Kristy...I will give you anything you want...ANYTHING...if you can get that sweatshirt for me...so his back is to her and she lifts a corner and reveals his bare skin...no shirt underneath...she turns to me and concedes that she can not do it...That shit don't stop Carrie Miller...So I tell the guy he should totally go next door...to his TRAILER....and get a shirt to put on and give me his sweatshirt...he disappears and reappears with the sweatshirt for me...well this moment can't be wasted...I whip off my overshirt and don the rightfully earned sweatshirt...no washing...no airing out time...just like it is! What a powerful moment... P.S. I have just noticed today that I have body lice actually jumping off of my body...ooopsie....
posted by *Carrie* @ 11:29 PM
1 Comments:
You should really have an exhibition of all the articles of clothing you have conned off of poor drunk bastards. It'd be pretty impressive.
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