Inspired...
Nate, you have inspired me...maddening punctuation can not be helped...but you're right! I live in the smallest most incestual town in the U.P. which is pretty much saying in the whole world...minus Arkansas and Alabama when it comes to the incest...so I've decided that those stupid little stories that make my life sad and pathetic might actually bring a smile to your face to have you know that "Hey, at least it ain't happening to you!" So here's another little tidbit of my current life:
Kristy and I went to Mr. Dutch and Viva la Bam, local bars, on Saturday night...At the Bam they had Christmas Karaoke...we walk in the place and there is a man playing a GEETAR (guitar) and singing pretty poorly....people are staring off and it just wasn't a pretty sight...so we get there and Jackie, the owner's mom, asks us if we plan on singing...well of course we PLAN on singing....So she goes well what do you think you're going to sing...so we pick Jingle Bell Rock....and she's like ok I'll put it in right now....Now hold up a sec Jackson....We haven't even finished a beer yet! So hurriedly we down our drink and take a shot and get another drink and we're up! With absolutely no shame Kristy and I belt out the Jingle Bell Rock only to have the people in the bar start humming a little with it....THEN we are told to do the next song...I figure it must be the Kristy/Carrie Hour....this time however the bar uproars and everyone chimes in....it's a HIT! So from then on until bar close it involves the bar rockin' out dancing and sing to a mixture of Cmas music and country music...In all modesty....we got the fuckin' party started! So then we're sitting there and this guy comes up next to Kristy and is trying to be her "friend"....well his friends think, hey a girl gave him the time of day they must want us all to come talk to them! Newsflash Walter: we were fine alone! haha....but we're nice so we talk to them...by talk I mean let them buy us shots...to have them inform us that they live next door in the trailer...yes my friends....the trailer! Well one of the guys has a black sweatshirt with a double collar...deuce collars....zwei collar....yea...thats right...the color of the inner one being TEAL of course! So then on the front it had pictures of trees and snowmobiles....in blue and white and teal....WITH PUFFY PAINT!!! clearly a shirt from the early 90s where it was puff paint or bust....So I tell Kristy...I will give you anything you want...ANYTHING...if you can get that sweatshirt for me...so his back is to her and she lifts a corner and reveals his bare skin...no shirt underneath...she turns to me and concedes that she can not do it...That shit don't stop Carrie Miller...So I tell the guy he should totally go next door...to his TRAILER....and get a shirt to put on and give me his sweatshirt...he disappears and reappears with the sweatshirt for me...well this moment can't be wasted...I whip off my overshirt and don the rightfully earned sweatshirt...no washing...no airing out time...just like it is! What a powerful moment...
P.S. I have just noticed today that I have body lice actually jumping off of my body...ooopsie....
I AIN'T SHITTIN' YOU! *pun intended*
Rocking horse - toilet
This concept challenges the traditional form of the toilet or "throne" by toying with the nostalgic familiarity of the rocking horse. However, the inclusion of foot pegs provides real health benefits by raising the knees above the waist, which facilitates a thorough expulsion of waste.
So I don't know if you've seen this or not...but it's the Meow Mix Cat Clock...it plays the Meow Mix song every hour on the hour...I'm pretty sure a few of you will be seeing this in your stocking for Christmas care of yours truly :) ENJOY!
My new idea...
Well friends...I've decided I suck at blogging now cause I have no life and nothing to tell and if it is it doesn't take up more then three sentences....so I am leaving my blog to you....I would appreciate you to just post random preferably funny comments on here...anything...what you're up to...how you feel...who's a big whore...and so forth.... :) So please do so...I'll go first...I had a job interview in Hurley, WI. yesterday...it went pretty well...I'll know in a week or two whether I got it...during my interview we discussed how there is more bar stools in Hurley then registered voters...to which I retorted...same in Marenisco...all we have here are bars and churchs....good thing we have Drinking Captains like Ashly Shannon around! 1...2....3....GO!
P.S. I don't use word verification...it sucks...
Nowhere to go but up :)
I'm soooo unbelieveably crabby right now! So of course I'll write a blog...that and I have absolutely NOTHING to do at work...So how come there are those few people that can just make you crabby in a heartbeat....and it doesn't even have to be someone you know that well....it just the wrong word....or they're in the wrong mood....and then just bring you down with them....GAR...I'm tired of putting up with old men that the second they get away from their wife they have nothing better to do then to say smartass fuckin sexual remarks at you like its their new J-O-B....I don't get it....I'm overweight...I have no job...I live with my parents....I don't even look pretty! So are you that infatuated with breasts and a hole that you will drop all standards and hit on anything? Men, what is the deal!!?! You know what...I think I need a nap....Wake me up when 2005 ends...
Carrie, Kerri, or Kari?
Although the name Carrie creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, worry, and mental tension.
Your name of Carrie makes you very idealistic and generous, with the strong desire to uplift humanity leading you into situations where you can express your desire to serve others. You want to assume responsibilities and to look after people; however, you can become too involved in other people's problems and tend to worry. Your name gives you a natural desire to express along artistic and musical lines. You desire a settled home and family life, and are expressive and attentive to your loved ones.
Although the name Kerri creates an active mind and a restless urge to explore new ideas, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the solar plexus, heart, lungs and bronchial area.
The name of Kerri creates an overly-sensitive nature which causes you to sense and feel far more than you can understand or put into words. You have a deep, artistic, and creative side which shows through a love for music and literature. Writing is a more natural mode of expression for your deeper thoughts and feelings than the spoken word. You have an ability to concentrate and work intently on anything which holds your interest. However, you prefer to avoid routine, monotony, and mental tasks.
Although the name Kari creates the urge to be creative and original, we point out that is causes frustration through a scattered and emotional nature. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the liver, bloodstream, and in tension or accidents to the head.
Your first name of Kari has made you a friendly, approachable, and generous person. Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be blunt and sarcastic. As you are naturally talkative, you find it easy to meet and make friends with many people. This name inclines you to be sympathetic and generous to those in difficult or unfortunate circumstances. You can be firm, positive, and independent in your own ideas and in reaching your own decisions, yet when it comes to taking action or following things through to completion, you often need encouragement. You respond quickly to kind words or any appreciation shown you. There are artistic, creative abilities in this name that you could express through music or singing, or, in a practical way, through sewing or interior decorating
Is my name spelled right?
I am going to write the bestest most kick ass blog ever!
and then I realized that I'm a 23 year old unemployed single loser that is living at home in Marenisco with my parents...I have no life and I'm not sure what my next step to getting one is...So I live with mim and john...and can I just say how we all know how well this story will end...thank god for my mom though...she now has a slave that she can boss around and have do stuff for her...good thing too cause she was starting to lose her control over EVERYTHING....I've already been told: I'm negative....I don't like anything....I expect too much from people and thats why I don't have a relationship...and I have no confidence....would anyone else like to add to this list? I'm sure she's missing a ton of stuff...if you could just let her know what else to criticize me for that would be great because she may be running out of things....in case you couldn't tell already this is going to be my bitch post...I know you're thrilled...I also have become EXCELLENT at pissing people off online...not sure how...but yesterday I had at least four people all of a sudden say goodbye after a comment I made that I guess offended them even though it wasn't meant to...which is wonderful because the only way I talk to people is online or the phone because I have only one friend left in Nesco...It should be my career to piss people off because apparently I am AMAZING at it! As for the guy situation...I don't even care...thats the least of my worries right now! So I'm going to stop now before people start to worry that I'm going crazy :) I'll talk to you all real soon!
D to the M
So I'm still here at Dairymen's...oh hooray! haha...actually its not too bad cause I found out today that Kristy will be here til the end with me....YAY! All of you can come visit us though! We're fun, I promise...as for my birthday goes...I had a really great time in Superior...haha...it was interesting....We started out at Norm's where Rob (Becca's man) works...and this lady was hacking up a lung...and eventually she taps me and says "Miss, can I buy three cigarettes for a dollar" In the best smoker voice she can muster...so I figure hey lady, you're already dying...here ya go! So I take her dollar and she lights up only to start hacking again...and she says...and I QUOTE! "I don't know why these are making me cough so bad, they're light!" I'm a smoker and even I know that these things are the greatest things for ya! So then comes to find out that she gives blow jobs for less then ten dollars...needless to say that I left the dirty dollar as a tip for Rob :) Your welcome! Then we go to the next bar to do karaoke...this nasty lady is dancing on any guy she can find and she looks like she's in her late 40s early 50s and then she decides its a GREAT idea to lift up her bra and shirt and rub her knockas in some guy's face! AWESOME! So we decided after that it would be time to leave...so we go back to Becca's and its her,Anne, Sam and I...And Sam says she knows the guy next door and she thinks he's cute...so we told her to go ask him to come for a drink...and she chickens out so Anne and I go do it for her...so we go get him and tell him that she thinks he's cute...there are two guys and two girls sitting there...and the other guy asks if Sam has a big dick..and we're like "Nooo..she's a girl" and he's like well we only like big dicks....WE'RE GAY! Oopsie! So they go get Becca and Sam and we hung out with them the rest of the night...for some reason the flambouyant guy was my best friend...I swear...it was funny though...so then the next day I did fam stuff...and the day after that I went out to the bars with Jaime, Kristy, Joe, and Mike...we had fun...I drank too much...did WAY too many shots...got some weird guy named Hollywood's phone number and hit on the bartender...which appears to be what I do when I'm drunk is hit on the bartender...speaking of which...last weekend Sandy, Party, and I went to Marshfield to the fair to see REO speedwagon...it was freakin' awesome! I had soo much fun....Keep on rollin'..Ooo...OOo...oOOOoooOOOOoo...We went to Nutz Deep II and just ask Sandy, there is a Nutz Deep I...haha...I ended up with the bartender and another guy coming and hanging out in the motel room with oh yea...just ME! haha...nothing happen...GOOD! Then a couple nights after getting back from that...we went out here and Mike and Pete were up with their friend Josh...we got really shitty...AGAIN...and I ended up getting a ride from Josh who was fighting with Pete adn Mike and almost killed up thirty times...until he slams on the brakes while we're going 70 and tells Mike to get out so he can kick his ass...thats when I jump out and say "fuck this, I"m walking" So here I am...3 am...walking down Hwy W towards Kristy's house...finally I'm convinced after they turn around and come get me to get in the car again..I figured it was a good night to DIE! We finally made it home safe...but it was questionable as to whether I would kick their ass!!! So thats about it for now...this is a long one and most of you don't like long ones but I don't care :) I don't care who you are, I"m funny!
It's my special day!
Thanks to all who called and gave cards and just were really really awesome on my birthday! Love ya! I just got done having dinner with the fam a little while ago and my mom went to the casino now and my dad is working...I'll write a blog talking about my experiences last night and ones that I most likely will have tomorrow but right now I can't concentrate on telling those stories...most of you already know that my grandpa has cancer and he's had it for over a year when he wasn't even suppose to make it 10 months...he's been doing really good for the most part except the last time he had chemo he had an allergic reaction and he hasn't had it since...well that was about three weeks ago...so things are slowly looking down...and I guess I should expect that but the hardest part is seeing your grandma cry...I've never seen her cry before...she's gone through some of the hardest things I've seen a person go through and not even flinch...well tonight during supper she asked my grandpa what was wrong and he said nothing...but you could tell he wasn't feeling good...so she asked a couple more times...finally my dad was like "just leave him alone"...she held her napkin to her face and got up and started doing dishes...nobody even noticed she was crying...they just went about talking...she's about to lose the only man she has ever loved and has been with for over fifty years....I can't imagine anything harder....and yet her crying doesn't even put a dimple in anyone else's life...so I got up and gave her a hug and a kiss...she was fine then....but once my dad and mom left she came into the living room crying and used the phone to call my uncle who lives just around the corner and is a paramedic...he came over and then left...now they are in bed...things aren't right...I know that if he dies its ok cause he is in a lot of pain...I just don't want her to lose him...because I don't think there will be a way to console her after that...well this is long and most of you may not care...but thats ok...afterall this is my journal :)
