Shhh...it's a secret...

Not really the beginning...

I'm going to keep writing on here...I don't know if people will be able to see if when they go to my post page from Vienna or not...but I'm not going to send out the address...so anyways, today was my day off and that was a nice thing...I slept til 2 pm because I went out last nite to A1 and had a few too many...I love going out and just being silly and dancing...I just wish other people weren't dumb when they go out...there was a fight about to go down and I ended up going in front of the guy trying to fight the other guy and just being..."hey I'm a chic" and told the one group to go inside...and I had the guys leaving until the bartender came out and they started back up again...guys, just a little tip for ya, let a girl flirt to get the punks to leave...it's just easier...I went back in and the guy that was doing most of the talking was like I thought you were with them! I don't know how the hell you got four guys to stop fighting and leave...it was funny, I felt impressed with myself after hearing that...my mom is sitting on the other chair right now farting...could definately do without that...I would actually like to know why when people get older they fart more? They just can't control it...ok, maybe I don't really want to know why...So I've been workin' a lot lately too since I got back..I need to....money is the devil...it sucks...I like being back at work though...most of the time...I hate people that are rude because they have money and think that we have to be polite and nice to them no matter what...the last three years I would've been nice and polite back but now I get snappy with em...screw that...I'm proud of who I am and what I do...I know I've screwed up a lot..I can't help that...and I don't want to...it makes me who I am and I definately have learned from it...I've decided to start biking around "the horn"...it's pretty and I find it peaceful...it's also a great reason to leave this house...my grandpa just seems to be getting more and more fragile...all anyone in my family does is talk about death...it's depressing...I hate seeing people cry and I hate thinking about people dying...there's been so much of it lately...this sounds really bad...but I don't want my grandpa to die here in the house...or I at least don't want to be here when it happens....thats not something that I think I would be able to get over easy if I saw...but I think thats whats going to happen...I want him to be peaceful...it's hard though no matter what to think that he'll be peaceful...he's so grumpy because he doesn't feel good that I don't think he has quality of life...it's just quantity right now...and not a lot of quantity...I don't want to get old...I would rather die in my 50s...morbid thought...I'll stop now...This weekend I go down to Dallas for my cousin Katie's wedding...Lisa is coming back with us...it should be fun...I loved it the last time I was down there...good times...well I'm going to stop now...this is long...and I think part of me is afraid that someone will be able to access this...

posted by *Carrie* @ 11:34 PM